Sunday, March 26, 2006

I'm the No Where Man

I had a very odd feeling today. I was driving my 6 year old great nephew Daniel back to my niece's apartment, and driving home I had the oddest feeling. I had just stopped to get my second jumbo diet coke of the morning and I thought to myself how fake and disposable it was. I drove and drove, past strip mall after strip mall, and suddenly the whole thing seemed fake. I eat fake fast food in my car, driving past fake places. My car has become my living room, and the windshield is an ever changing portrait, a bad TV show, that keeps repeating.

And when I get home, I log on to the Internet, The Great No Whereness, existing everywhere and no where, and I communicate with people I actually know better than my next door neighbor (I've never met them, but my wife has!)

I think this was all elicited by dropping Daniel home. He is the child in my life. I was never blessed with my own. I guess that's it. When I'm taking care of Daniel, my life is focused like a laser beam. Nothing is more important on Earth than the safety of "The Child." I wouldn't care if half of humanity had to be blinked out of existance so that MY Child could live and be happy. Without that, everything is fake.


At 1:02 PM, Blogger Alan_McDonald said...


I'm older than you. I've been there, and I've done that. All I can say is that you have to break the cycle.

Losing my job (which I don't recommend) allowed me to break the cycle. Unfortunately, I was verging on self-destruction, but my wife helped me. Hell, she saved my life.

Now I see that the job and the commute and even the status were not as important as being human and sharing love.

Give your wife a big hug from me, and say hello to your neighbor. And stop drinking diet Coke!

At 5:49 PM, Blogger Chas said...

Thanks for that Alan. I think only another man a certain age would understand. I'm actually amazed that you read between the lines and got to the point laser-like. The destructive behavior hit me earlier,(10-15 years ago) let's just say the "wine women and song" on the wrong side of town! Nothing like a night in jail, or getting rolled in a strip joint for a grand, and then literally ending up in the gutter outside, drunk and covered in vomit, to be picked up by my wife, to make me think that's not the way to go!

So you're right. You gotta break the cycle. I gotta figure out what to repalce it with.

At 7:01 PM, Blogger Alan_McDonald said...

And, Chas, the good news is that you and I are still around to share this with each other and the rest of the world. I wish my brother had been as lucky as we are.


At 2:46 PM, Blogger Chas said...

Thanks for that old friend. I'm sorry your brother didn't make it. I'm old enough to know that only by the grace of God we go.

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